the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
