i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
