So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
