With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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