they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
