I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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