We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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