also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize