He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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