I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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