Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
