I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
