the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
