I didn't shave. On purpose
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
