i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
