The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
