Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
