carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
