Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
