My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
