i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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