his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
