Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
did i just pee glitter
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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