Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
