wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
