theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
