I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
