He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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