Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
