she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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