you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
