You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
