i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
smell my finger.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
