i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
