Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He better not be in your backpack
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
