wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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