Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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