I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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