sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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