you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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