I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
