I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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