i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
