Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ladies don't puke and tell
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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