so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
