This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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