you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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