Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
as a side note pls kill me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize