Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
