The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have already put on my inside pants.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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