Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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