those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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