nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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