Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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