I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
