and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We are two peas in an std pod
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
