It's like God shit irony all over that family
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
