i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
