I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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